Yes...that's what I'm afraid of.

Sarah Palin, painted for Women's Work, an online gallery exhibit of women's political art
©Zina Saunders 2008. All rights reserved

I don't know Zina Saunders, but she has certainly hit a nerve with me with this painting. Somehow, this image reached inside me and reverberated loudly. Yes. That's what I'm afraid of. Palin just seems like the ultimate right-winger - the strongly committed Christian who will fight a woman's right to end a pregnancy that will do no-one, including the unborn child, one iota of good. I worked as a social worker for a state agency for ten years after graduation from college, and saw the effects of unwanted pregnancies - and pregnancies resulting from incest and rape - play themselves out in the lives of neglected and abused children, and in children who were literally killed or maimed psychologically and physically for life, and unashamedly admit that in many of those cases, I came to believe that abortion would have been the kinder, gentler solution. It's easy - yes, EASY - for members of the religious right to insist that every pregnancy should result in a live birth, because THEY don't have to deal with the consequences, don't have to witness the life-long pain and anguish caused by their determination that their will should prevail. I've seen it, tried to rectify some of the damage, and far too often, haven't been able to. I once took a 13-year-old rape victim to an abortion clinic to get an abortion. That's right. And there was a Catholic priest pacing in front, carrying a sign with a photo of a shredded fetus on it. He approached us with an appeal for my young client to "think twice before committing murder." (If only the rapist had thought twice before committing rape, eh?) I looked at the man with what must've seemed like pure hate in my eyes, and said to him, "So are YOU going to adopt and raise all these babies you're trying to save?" Like I said, easy to take a stand when after your shift is over on the picket lines, you can go home, ask the housekeeper to brew you a nice cuppa tea and maybe bring you a little snack - no messy babies crying, no snotty-nosed children dragging on your robe, no worrying about how you're going to feed, clothe, and house them. But - once that fetus that you've saved from murder reaches 18 or so years of age, you have no problem supporting an adminstration that will now send him/her over to some foreign country to get killed. That's not murder; that's dying for your country. (Or oil, actually, which we all know is worth losing a *few* lives over). But, back to Palin - ruthless, egotistical, ambitious, dogmatic, self-serving Palin. Any woman who identifies with Sarah Palin, or buys that she is the quintessential "hockey mom" needs a serious reality check. Seriously. And call me squeamish, but that picture of her that's circulating around the internet with her and her young daughter proudly posed behind the carcass of a moose that she's shot in the face turns my stomach. Oh, enough out of me for now. I'm not 100% convinced that Obama is going to be able to make much change in the country, but I'm voting for him. The kind of change we'll see with McCain & Palin is just too gruesome to even contemplate before lunch.

Not bouncing back so quickly anymore...

I'm just now getting back to finding a moment or two to think and maybe write a few lines. This past weekend flew by, leaving me feeling like a wet dishrag that someone had wrung out and hung on the sink to dry. Seems like one of the things about getting older is that your (my) stamina decreases exponentially. Of course, I realize that we all age differently, and there are plenty of elderwomen out there engaging in much more physical - and mental - exercise than I do, and likely feeling less tired. I've never been overly physical - I skiied until I was in my early forties and a third broken ankle (same ankle, three times) caused me to hang up my skis permanently. Since then, I've done some swimming, boating, biking and hiking, but none of those on anything resembling a consistent basis. Just recently, I have discovered the Leslie Sansone *walking* videos - at home walking, that is. Walking in front of the TV set or computer monitor. I've been walking a mile in the AM before getting ready for work, another mile in my office (with the door closed) at lunchtime, and another mile when I get home from work. This exercise seems to work well for me, and what's especially good about it, I think, is that I won't have to look for alternatives when it snows out as I did last year when I was riding a bike around the neighborhood trying to get fit. Now, I'm not trying to regain my "youthful figure" - I think that's pretty much gone at this point - but I don't want to get TOO heavy, I DO want to build up some stamina, and I DO want to remain healthy if I possibly can for as long as I possibly can. But, about the LOSS of stamina - and feeling tired when I do anything out of my ordinary schedule: we went to my husband's nephew's wedding this past Saturday, out in New Haven, CT - close to a two-hour drive from where we live. We left at 3:00 in the afternoon and got home at 1:00 the following morning. Then, on Sunday, I had my daughter & her husband and little girl, and my other daughter and her husband and little boy for supper to celebrate my son-in-law's birthday. I didn't do any cooking that required a whole lot of preparation - a pork loin roast, baked potatoes with sour cream, corn (my son-in-law's favorite vegetable), a big tossed salad, homemade apple sauce, gravy, and the kids brought cakes and desserts. They all left by 7:30 or so because everyone had to be at work or school the next morning. And I was absolutely done in! I took a short soak in the tub, and was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. The weekend just flew right by, and before I knew it, my alarm clock was squawking, and it was 5:30 Monday morning. And I was STILL tired last night, and went to bed by 8:30. I'm finding that it takes me longer now, to bounce back from any change in routine. I ALSO think it makes me tired just thinking about the state of our country and those people who are vying for the head honcho positions. I won't make this a political rant, but for GAWDS sake, what are they THINKING? How sad - and gullible - can people be (or maybe the question REALLY is - how racist are they?) that they would even consider supporting a narcissistic old man like McCain with a running mate who is so flippantly nasty, so drivingly ambitious and power-hungry? Hell, if they get elected, she'll probably drop a little strychnine into his morning coffee just so she can be # 1. After all, she has no problem killing animals - and introducing her young daughters to the pleasures of shooting a moose in the face in order to pose next to it - she follows the laws of the wild, and when you could serve her interests better by dying, I don't think she'd hesitate to "cull you from the herd". If I were John McCain, and they DO get elected - well, I'd just watch my step if I were him, that's all. And, as far as her understanding foreign policy because of Alaska's proximity to Russia, an NPR commentator (I apologize for forgetting his name) said it best, I think, when he noted that he was standing next to Lake Michigan, but that "it didn't make him a duck". Now, mind you, it's not myself so much that I worry for. It's my children and grandchildren. I've lived the greater part of my own life, and I've raised my family. They're the ones who will have to deal with what happens to this country because of the greed and ruthlessness of those at the top. It'll take generations to "bounce back" from this mess. So, no wonder I feel tired, eh?

One of those days to remember....

Last Sunday, we decided to launch our new membership at Old Sturbridge Village by bringing my seven-year-old granddaughter there for the day. What fun we had! We started off with brunch at The Oliver Wight Tavern, and from there started hiking about to see the sights. Morgan is at that wonderfully inquisitive age, asking questions about everybody and everything, and her energy level is such that we were on the move constantly, except for the little bit of sitting we got to do while taking a boat ride up the river. Thanks to my two-mile-a-day walks with Leslie Sansone, I was up to the challenge, and really had a wonderful day with both Stone and Morgan, who are always laughing and carrying on together about one thing or another. Having Morgan on a Sunday is a rarity, because she is a soloist in her church's junior choir, and is typically expected to be there on Sundays. This time, we talked her mum (my daughter) into letting her play hookey for once. We're planning to visit Old Sturbridge Village as often as we can - there's so much to see, it would quite literally take days and days to see it all. Plus, there are special member's events, and we're thinking we'd enjoy thier Christmas program/dinner. It would also solve the sticky question for my children of how to plan Christmas without offending me OR their father (whom I divorced some years ago) because I've made up my mind not to spend another Christmas in his company. For the past two years, I've gritted my teeth and tolerated his presence, but last year, when he tried to press a $50 Applebee's gift certificate on me & my present husband, jovially telling us to "enjoy a meal on him", I had all I could do not to spit in his face, and that's the truth. This is the same man who was court ordered to pay half of his children's college tuition and expenses, and who never got up off a single thin dime - between loans, grants, and my share of the proceeds from selling our house, my kids all got educated. But now - now that they're all self-supporting, he wants to play doting daddy again. Tsk. Okay, enough with the bitter recriminations. Suffice it to say that rather than force the kids into an uncomfortable choice - and I know that if they had to, they would exclude him - I would rather spend Christmas eve with them and have other plans for Christmas day. We shall see. They do appear to have a lovely Christmas Day program at OSV. Okay - back to "a day to remember". Sorry for meandering off into that little unpleasantness, but if not here, then where? See? Sometimes you just go ahead and grow older, and the accompanying wisdom is a little slow in keeping up. But it's all good. My son will be home to visit on Oct. 15 for a week, and then back for Christmas, and my daughter does well and truly seem to be pregnant, and if my fellow countrymen have even a single iota of common sense, they will put Obama in the White House and end this eight-year reign of aristocratic entitlement, and maybe we can all breathe a sigh of relief. Today, incidentally, is Sept. 11. Somehow, I find it much more pleasant if I just remember it as my dad's birthday. He would be 103 if he were still alive. But I suppose that's the coward's way out. So I will think, not without pain, of those we lost on that date in 2001 - including a very good friend who was on the first plane to hit the twin towers.
Ruby Jean, you don't know how pleased I am that you found me here! Now we must lasso Ms. Close and get her here to visit, as well.
Love,
Z

Stereotypes

I am still working, of course - and planning to continue for another three years, I think, unless something unforeseen occurs. I feel like the "resident elderwoman" on my job, and have, I think, developed a reputation for quirkiness, always ready to share my own diverse views (especially in disagreement with "the team") and perhaps am fairly well respected for some degree of intelligence and wisdom (there ARE some benefits to aging.) There are a lot of younger people employed here in various and sundry capacities, some of whom I encounter on a fairly regular basis in the employee lunchroom where we all chat about this and that. Now, I should explain that outside of work, my DH and I are woodsy sorts who enjoy hiking about, climbing a rock or two here and there, and meeting up, two or three times a year with our many and varied group of friends at a woodland retreat up in the White Mountains of northern New Hampshire for long weekends (and sometimes, when everything aligns perfectly, entire weeks) of philosophical discussion and tree-hugging. Having said that, I work in an environment that requires professional dress and since it's required anyway, I tend to maintain a fairly decent "professional" wardrobe. So, yesterday at lunch, I happened to be sitting next to our young IT technician - an affable fellow in his mid-twenties, whom I've always enjoyed chatting with. I mentioned that my DH and I would be taking our granddaughter (age 7) to the apple orchards in another few weeks, and that I would once again (as I am every year) be expected to climb to the very tops of certain trees in order to pick the big, "perfect" apples that hang high above where they typically don't get picked and end up finally falling to the ground and smushed towards the end of the season. Lawrence (the IT tech) laughed and said "Riiiiiiiiiiight. You're going to climb apple trees. Sure." I. of course, was shocked at his disbelief and asked him whyever I shouldn't climb an apple tree if I wanted to. He looked a little uncomfortable, squirmed a bit in his chair, and finally replied, "You just don't look like the tree-climbing type!" Oh, I retorted, and why is that? Too elderly to haul my carcass up a tree, eh? "Oh no", he quickly replied, "You're just not my idea of someone who would be out climbing trees, is all. I mean, look at what you're wearing." Well, duh! No, I don't climb trees in my office clothes, but this wasn't about what I was wearing so much as it was about what younger people in our society expect of us older folk. I suppose it would fit his image more comfortably if I were to say that once I get home every night, I quickly don a grandmotherly housedress and apron and start stirring the stewpot. Well, I stir plenty of stewpots, but rarely in housedress and apron - more likely in jeans or sweats. Oh, I'm not offended in the slightest - it just took me by surprise, because despite my advanced years, I still think of myself as capable of doing pretty much whatever I want to do. Including climbing apple trees. It's interesting that others may see me as "too old" to do such things.